Top Ten Reasons You Know You've Been in the Hospital Too Long:
10.) you are on a first name basis with all doctors and nurses in your unit....as well as the janitors and admin staff
9.) you feel totally comfortable silencing alarms on the various machines your child is hooked up too....he looks fine and is sleeping.
8.) you no longer hear the alarms on the machines your child is hooked up too because you've finally gotten 10 minutes of peace and are fully engrossed in a book that you haven't had a chance to read in a week.
7.) you feel completely comfortable barking at the resident during rounds (i.e. in front of 15 other doctors) because he does not communicate well.
6.) you feel completely comfortable complaining to the cheif of the department of said resident about his horrible communication skills
5.) you recieve apology from said resident and preach to him like his is a kindergartener about how good communication is the key to success in any profession. (Julie Althoff - Hayden's kindergarten teacher- would not approve of his commmunication skills either.)
4.) you start telling the nurses and doctors what to do and feel completely comfortable and commanding in your medical knowledge even though your degree is in Political Economies of Industrial Societies (but your sell textiles to the healthcare industry! )
3.) you forget what you say to who and when you said it
2.) you forget what day it is
and the top reason your know you've been in the hospital for too long is....
1.) you have run out of space on the walls to decorate and start decorating the ceiling!!! Hayden's Room Remodel Complete!