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Saturday, May 18, 2013

I am...


I am
I am a woman
I am a daughter, a sister, a wife
Most of all I am a mother

I am a mother who daily tries to figure out how to do it right
How to do it equal
How to instill values in my children
That make sense to them
That encourages them to give back
That teaches them to help it feel better, even when its not

I have a secret to share
It's hard
It's hard to have a child with special needs
I cry a lot
I smile a lot
I say I'm doing fine when I'm not
The littlest things make me sad
The littlest things make me happy

I want to change the world
Change the life of my Hayden
Give him the things he wants so badly but I can not give
I want him to be able to stand tall
Walk on his own
Breath deeply and fill his lungs with air
Raise his hands over his head
Get himself dressed
Tie his own shoes
Dance with a girl

But most of all
I want to grant him his wish
Of being able to do things on his own
By himself
With his friends
Just to hang out with out an adult watching closely

I want him to be free
That is my greatest wish

My love for him is so fierce, it hurts sometimes

My Elsa is strong
She has been through more than any 9 year old should
She is my light, my joy
She exudes happy, mischievous energy
She makes me laugh
And reminds me to be a girl
That life is normal
She is my confidant and legacy
I am beyond proud that she is my daughter

Hayden and Elsa are me

And I love them